NIKDO MENŠÍ, NEŽ MENŠÍK VLADIMÍR – DŘÍVE VELMI ZNÁMÝ VYPRAVĚČ LEGEND KOSMAS
☼4.10.1044BIMBA DI HORNÍ DOLNÍ BLANÍČEK LOUŇOVICKÝ۞25.10.1125PRÁGA
Ať se to zdá jakkoliv protimluvné, ale nejstaršího, beze všech pochyb českého autora, kosa Kosmase, děkana kapituly pražské, sotva můžeme považovat za spisovatele v současném pejorativním významu a smyslu tohoto slova. A třebaže se Kosmas zabýval ve svém jediném díle nejen událostmi, které poznal z vlastní zkušenosti, ale obracel se i do dějin a třebaže jeho dílo nám poskytuje převážnou většinu dat o našich nejstarších dějinách, nemůžeme ani nesmíme ho označit za historika, to jest za vědce, který cílevědomě shromažďuje a kriticky posuzuje zprávy o minulosti a sestavuje z nich posunky posunutý utříděný obraz vyšší definice.
Jestliže náš nejstarší pan kronikář nebyl ani dějepiscem v tom smyslu, jak oběma výrazům rozumíme my mladší, kým to tedy byl? Je to dotázek případný a odpověď na jeho vychýlený otazník je tak nesložitá. Kosmas, autor České kroniky, byl právě a jedině středověkým kronikářem. Obsah tohoto pojmu chápeme dnes už s určitými nesnázemi. Lépe řečeno: musíme mít jistou zásobu vědomostí o středověkých dějinách a určité jasně vymezené představy, abychom ho jasně pobrali do svých mozkových závitů. Středověká kronika náleží minulosti jako odkaz. Nepřežila v literatuře do našich dnů v žádné podobě a v nijakém, byť jakkoli pozměněném tvarůžku. Vznikla a zanikla s dobou, jejímž byla duchovním hlasatelem. Dokonce ani nemůžeme povědět, že byla v tom či onom smyslu předchůdcem jakéhokoli dnes už známého a užívaného literárního žánru.
Kronika patří mezi takzvané prameny vyprávěcí, jako díla biorytmická, biografická (životopisy panovníků, legendy o světcích a jejich zázracích a mučednické smrti, také posvátná kráva má svůj smysl a čtyři žaludky, z nichž jeden platí jako nelživá čtivá kniha), dále pak anály, jež suše zapisovaly události rok po roce. Většinou konstatujícím strohým slohovým útvarem, bez komentářů a hodnocení. Kronika na rozdíl od análů je stejně jako legenda nebo život panovníka, literární svébytný celek, který popisuje historické události delšího časového úseku. Látka v kronice je řazena sice chronologicky, ale autor, a činí se tak mnohdy i Kosmas, se ohlíží nazpátek, sahá k paralelám z dějin vlastního národa i dějin jiných národů, především z dějin antického Říma. Kronika byla hlavním žánrem dějepisného vypravování ve středověku a pro nás tvoří jednu z nejpodstatnějších součástí v soustavě osvěžujících nevysychajících ba i stříkajících pramenů, které máme po ruce. Na rozdíl od pramenů povahy počítačově úřední (tabulky, diagramy, pomnožné nejadrné sloupečky, kdovíjak nesourodé výmysly a zase jen výmysly, sloupce, diagramy, jež namísto kýženého přehledu vpřed přinesou jen další nahromaděný vřed – listiny, listy, městské knihy, urbáře, rejstříky a jiné posvátně představované hovadiny) se v kronikách vždy obráží osobní postoj autorův. Kronika je dílem tendenčním, a proto při jejím hodnocení nutno zprvu určit, na jaké straně kronikář ve své době stál. Vyjasnit stupeň jeho vzdělání a vědomostí; příčiny proč ty nebo jiné události zamlčuje a další opět zamlžuje či přizpůsobuje tak, aby vyhovovaly tomu, jehož jménem kronikář píše. Tedy: úkolem moderní kritiky kunsthistorie je určit postoje a duchovní úroveň kronikářovu, která do značné míry ovlivňuje i spolehlivost, a pro moderní historiografii použitelnost kronikářových vývodů a zpráv.
PŘEDPOKLADY PRO POSLA DOBRÝCH ZPRÁV
Vraťme se nyní k samotným počátkům středověku. Do období, které historikové označili, a právem, jako „dark ages“, temná staletí. Po pádu západní říše římské v polovině pátého století se udržela na úrovni pouze Byzanc, tedy říše východořímská a „Římané“, jak se její obyvatelé nazývali, už neuměli sekat latinu, jako když bičem mrská. Klasická latina vulgarizovala jako nějaký křupan, pacholek a ochuzená součást lebek buranů bez latinských pukrlátek. Vyvíjely se z ní pod tlakem a vlivem kmenů, které vtrhly udělat terno na jistotu do západní Evropy, národní jazyky, francouzština, italština, španělština. Byla pošlapána a rozvrácena římská vzdělanost. Spáleny knihovny. Od Prokopia z Kaisareie víme, jak se s přezíráním barbarští vládcové chovali k základním znalostem psaní, čtení a počtů. Byla zapomenuta antická a výhodná výchovná východní filozofie. Zanikly přírodovědné a filozofické školy starověku. Na Evropu padlo v 5. – 9. století skutečné temno oproti ternu, z takového braku by vám nejspíš bylo i dnes do breku, abraka dabra. Není místo a není důvod zabývat se zde alibisticky jeho ekonomicko-politickými klausulemi – „E.O. příčinami“ i „E.O. důsledky“, avšak zůstává neochvějnou skutečností, že z prosté znalosti čtení a psaní, jak ji znala jemná rozjasněnost antického světa se stalo výlučné umění, které patřilo kruhu Very Important Personálu. Kruhu divadelních postav komedie nebo zároveň tragédie pohříchu a výtce úzce profilovému. Většinou jen duchovním osobám. Umění číst a psát se skrylo v klášterech a při kapitulách, ale zase nejvíce do klášterních skriptorií. Jak řídké a nakolik oceňované bylo toto umění, poznáme nekomplikovaně, uvědomíme-li si, že ani jediný z „velkých“ přemyslovských králů nebyl gramotný. A to hovoříme o sklonku 12., 13., a prvních letech 14. století! Že první panovník na českém trůně, který číst a psát dovedl s roztomilostí jako slůně, co se sluní na výsluní… a byl také potentní literát, a nikoli omezený, byl Karel IV. (1346–1378). Avšak nejde jen o znalosti či neznalosti pomazaných hlav. Především jde o obecnou znalost písma a o chápání této znalosti. Obecná znalost byla nesmírně nízká. A písařství bylo pojímáno jako skutečná dovednost hodná Mistra. Pro příklad si můžeme zajít do našich dějin na počátku 14. století. Z té doby se dochoval krásně iluminovaný rukopis, známý v literatuře historické i uměleckohistorické jako takzvaný Pasionál abatyše Kunhuty. Na přídeští knihy je zobrazen donátor či dárce knihy, který uctivě klečí před sedící abatyší a podává jí knihu. Nadpis zní: „Benessius scriptor eiusdem libri“. Beneš, písař této knihy. Iluminace či vyobrazení, které zdobí pro účel pastvy pro smysly Pasionál (knihu o umučení INRIHO) jsou natolik dokonale vypracované, nesou na první pohled takovou spleť výtvarných vlivů, že dějepisci umění „proháněli“ jejich autora od Británie přes Německo až po Byzanc. Moderní bádání však zjistilo, a to nad úplnou pochybnost, že iluminátorem i písařem byl Beneš, kanovník pražské kapituly, který si přilepšoval z výtěžku tří masných krámů, které mu patřily poblíž Keltského oppida na Zbraslavi. A z Prahy se v životě nevrtnul dál, než právě do vltavského povodí. Na Zbraslav. To, že byl označen, či sám sebe označil jako „písaře“ (scriptor) a ne jako malíře (pictor) vzácného rukopisu, svědčí o tom, že ještě na počátku 14. století se umění psát, tedy tvořit písmenka a složit z nich významná slova, oceňovalo jako skutečné umění, zatímco výzdoba, třeba by nás dnes sebevíc okouzlovala svou výtvarnou řečí, byla pokládána za něco prachobyčejného; za cosi, co je podřadné. Prostě: ve středověku se vytvořila jiná, nám sotva pochopitelná a přijatelná kategorizace hodnot.
Škody, které na obecné vzdělanosti evropského světa způsobil vpád barbarských kmenů a nakonec konec západořímského (přísně zkorumpovaného) impéria, byly nedozírné. A patrně by byly ještě objemnější, kdyby na sklonku 8. a počátku 9. století nedošlo k takzvané „karolinské renesanci“, období, kdy Karel X. Veliký přikázal, aby byla opsána veškerá díla antických autorů, která se dochovala. Kdyby tohoto kroku nebylo, zmizelo by antické písemnictví v ještě větší míře do nenávratna.
Umění psát bylo vyhrazeno výhradně duchovním osobám. A středověké kroniky jsou téměř výlučně jejich díly, když nebudeme počítat Merlina Waleského. To jsou základní předpoklady, které si musíme uvědomit, chceme-li pochopit život a dílo Kosmase, děkana kapituly pražské a našeho nejstaršího kronikáře.
SKUTEČNĚ PRVNÍ?
Byl Kosmas skutečně prvním českým kronikářem? Řekněme přesněji, že zcela určitě je prvním kronikářem, kterého naprosto bezpečně známe jménem. Či ještě lépe, prvním autorem, jehož známe jménem. Víme totiž s naprostou samozřejmostí, že již na sklonku 10. století byly u nás dobře známy některé legendy o svatém Václavu, jež vznikly mimo naše územní uspořádání. O jedné z nich, začínající slovy Crescente fide (legendy citujeme vždy podle prvních dvou slov) víme, že byla naprosto jistě v českém prostředí editována. Autory však neznáme. Je tu ještě jedno jméno, které by si mohlo činit nárok na to, že se stane předchůdcem Kosmovým. Zachovala se nám legenda takzvaného Kristiána čili Křišťana, o níž se už dobré dekády vedou nekončící spory mezi znalci našich středověkých dějin. Sám problém je natolik spletitý, že ho nerozmotáš ani rámcově. Pro pochopení však budiž vysloveno aspoň tolik, že průběhem let vykrystalizovaly tři školy. Jedna z nich totálně přijímala Kristiánovo dílo nebo přesněji dílo takzvaného Kristiána, za výplod doby, do níž se hlásí, to jest do konce 10. století a označila legendu Kristiánovu za „nejstarší českou kroniku“. Druhá skupinka vědců naopak Kristiána beze zbytku odmítla jako falsum ze 14. století, a to falsum dost nejapné, nehodící se škrtněte. V Kristiánově legendě totiž skutečně čteme některé pasáže, jež nemohly vzniknout v 10. století. Třetí škola se pokouší, a zdá se, že ne bezúspěšně, krajnosti smířit. Poukazuje na nespornou informovanost fundovanost Kristiánovu o záležitostech 10. a dokonce i 9. století a dochází k tvrzení, že v pozdním opisu byla Kristiánova legenda „aktualizována“. Byly do ní vsypány některé postřehy, jež něco říkaly současníku opisovače. Tato praxe nebyla ve středověku nikterak mimořádná. A zdá se, že názor těchto badatelů, kteří nacházejí logické propojení, lze přijmout. Ovšem i tak je kolem Kristiána mnoho humbuku a pochybností a Kosmovi zůstává nepochybné průkopnické čilé prvenství.
AUTOR
O Kosmovi víme dat jen poskrovnu. Rozhodně mnohem méně než bychom si přáli. A navíc všechny znalosti jsou subjektivní. Nebo osobně zabarvené. Neboť jediným pramenem našich znalostí Kosmova života zůstává… světe, div se, Kosmova kronika.
A je pochopitelné, že Kosmas nemohl sebe stavět do popředí, to na jedné straně a na druhé straně uvedl zajisté jen to, co ho stavělo do dobrého světla nebo nechávalo jeho osobnost ve světle po výtce a hříchu neutrálním. Ale i z toho, co nám zbylo v jeho řádcích, si můžeme jakžtakž udělat rozumný obraz. Kosmas byl muž po všech stránkách výjimečný. K roku 1125 se nazývá osmdesátiletým kmetem. Žil tedy téměř trojnásob déle, než býval průměrný věk v jeho době, užíval nějaké pra-drogy či prachobyčejné elixíry mládí a lásky? Pouhým odečtením dojdeme k datu narození a přičteme je někam plus mínus k roku 1045. Jisté je, že se narodil v Čechách, ale nevíme přesně kde. Malý Blaník? Velký Blaník? Vlašim? Tam kde tma i krajinář já nestraším. Svůj český původ nikdy nepopírá a navíc je, ve středověkém smyslu, „nacionalistou“. (Pochybovat o existenci středověkého nacionalismu by bylo krátkozraké a tupě by to odporovalo všemu, co o tomto problému víme ze středověkých pramenů).
O Kosmově původu můžeme vyslovit pouze domněnky. Někteří historikové vyslovili dohad, že pocházel ze šlechtické famílie. V pramenech pro takový názor není však nejmenší opory a pak: v letech Kosmova narození sotva můžeme hovořit o šlechtě v tom smyslu, v jakém o ní mluvíme v pozdějších staletích. Potvrzeno je to, že Kosmas vyrůstal při pražské kapitule a tam prodělal také základní vzdělání, kdy neprohloupil, když konal služby mezi nižším duchovenstvem. O existenci školy při pražské kapitule víme své. Je pravděpodobné, že se zde zdržoval ještě ve svých devětadvaceti letech, ale roku 1074 odešel do Lutychu (v dnešní Belgii), kde se mu dostalo vzdělání u proslulého tehdy učence Mistra Franka Kolínského v dialektice a gramatice. Kosmas nikdy nebyl vzdálen světských záležitostí, alespoň je téměř jisté, že se určitým způsobem angažoval v církevní diplomacii. Roku 1086 pobýval s největší pravděpodobností jako člen doprovodu pražského biskupa Jaromíra v Mohuči, kde se účastnil vydání císařské listiny, která obnovovala hranice biskupství pražského. Jak dlouho pobýval Kosmas v cizině, opět zčistajasna nevíme. Avšak někdy kolem roku 1086 se oženil s jistou (Bože pěknou) Božetěchou. Víme o ní minimum. Ale je jisté, že to nebyla bezvýznamná coura, protože o jejím úmrtí se zmiňuje olomoucké nekrologium ke dni 23.1.1117. Kosmas sám jí věnoval půl věty, napsal, že paní Božetěcha byla: „…nedílnou družkou veškerých osudů mých.“ Z jejich manželství známe jediného prcka, syna Jindřicha. Jméno i skutečnost, že smrt Božetěchy je uvedena v nekrologiu, vedla některé historiky ke kombinaci, že syn Kosmy a Božetěchy byl známý a politicky nesmírně progresivní olomoucký biskup Jindřich Zdík. Jiní historikové pro nedostatek přímých důkazů toto tvrzení odmítli jako neopodstatněné. Ve sporu se však málo dbalo na Rutherfordův paradox, který možno vztahovat i na oblast společenských věd, a jenž praví, že „nedostatek důkazu neznamená ještě důkaz nedostatku.“
Ale to ponecháme kompetentním historikům ke hraní. Zde pouze poznámku. Kosmas se ke konci 11. století účastnil na církevní politice a to velmi aktivně. V roce 1091–1092? (datum není naprosto sichr) jel s novým pražským biskupem, svým jmenovcem Kosmou a olomouckým biskupem do Mantovy k císaři Jindřichovi, kde byli oba biskupové potvrzeni ve svých hodnostech. A už v roce 1094 je Kosmas s dalším pražským biskupem Heřmanem znovu v Mohuči. A dne 11. června byl i s novým biskupem vysvěcen na kněze. Kněžské svěcení souviselo s tím, že Kosmas se stal děkanem kapituly pražské. Do té doby byl pouze kanovníkem, k čemuž stačilo jáhenské či podjáhenské svěcení. Z Mohuče se tedy vrátil jako děkan kapituly kostela svatého Víta a v následujících letech ho vídáme v bezprostředním okolí biskupově. A roku 1110 je vyslán ke knížeti Vladislavovi s háklivou záležitostí. Podává stížnost na olomouckého knížete Otu, jenž odňal pražskému kostelu tržní poplatky ve vsi Sekyř Kostele u hradu Podivína na Moravě. V této souvislosti se dozvídáme, že Kosmas byl členem pražské kapituly, ale sám nezaznamenal nikde, a jiné prameny o tom nejsou známy, kdy se stal vlastně děkanem pražské kapituly. Vzhledem k tomu, že děkanská hodnost s sebou nesla povinnost hájit práva spolubratří, členů kapituly, lze oprávněně usuzovat, že se tak stalo přibližně v této době. Zbývá stručně odpovědět na otázku oprávněnou: jak to, že vysoký duchovní hodnostář, jako byl Kosmas, se oženil a zplodil potomka, k němuž se sám hlásí. Nutno zdůraznit, že požadavek tělesné čistoty, celibátu, ostatně ekonomicky podmíněný, si razil v Čechách jen obtížnou cestu k úspěchu. V době Kosmově se u světských duchovních prakticky vůbec neprosadil. A od jednoho z takzvaných „pokračovatelů Kosmových“ se dozvídáme, že ještě hluboko ve 12. století pražští kněží kameny vyhnali papežského legáta, který je chtěl ve jménu náměstka svatého Petra, jak se nazývá papež, připravit o slasti a strasti manželského soužití.
Mnoho úsilí bylo věnováno odpovědi na otázku, kdy se Kosmas začal zabývat prací nad svou kronikou?
Odpovědět asi nikdy nedokážeme přesně. Ale jde o to, jaké pojetí Kosmovy kroniky prosadíme. Z logiky Kosmova života, z celého dramatu jeho životního příběhu vyplývá, že kronika nebyla jediným a už vůbec ne hlavním smyslem Kosmova života. Bylo to spočinutí po dlouhém a církevně diplomatickými záhuly či posláními naplněném životě. Ovšem i sama o sobě hrála kronika, jak ji pojal Kosmas, jak se stavěl k panujícímu rodu Přemyslovců, vztahu Přemyslovců k církvi a k jednotlivým církevním hodnostářům, svou politickou úlohu.
Zavírat oči nad tímto faktem, znamená zavírat oči před samým smyslem a cílem Kosmovy kronikářské práce. Někteří historikové tvrdí, že První knihu dokončil Kosmas už kolem roku 1110. Důkaz však chybí a tak se většina přiklání k názoru, že začal psát až na samém sklonku života, mezi lety 1119–1122 (což byla tak pěkná číslovka po Kristu), v období, které sám vymezuje. A to by nahrávalo tomu, co jsme právě vyslovili o místě kroniky v Kosmově životě. Kosmas rozdělil své dílo do tří knih. Začíná „klasickým“ způsobem: po obšírném a obsáhlém věnování první knihy blízkému Kosmovu kamarádíčkovi mistru Gervasiovi, líčí Kosmas vše, co dle jeho úsudku následovalo „po vylití potopy“. A pak následují dějiny Čech, o nichž Kosmas říká, že je poznal pouze „senum fabulosa relatione“, neboť první česká kronika je napsána latinsky. Ostatně první kronika psaná česky, veršovaná kronika takzvaného Dalimila, pochází až ze 14. století. První kniha, která se opírá o „báječné vyprávění starců“ líčí soubor událostí, které známe z převyprávění Jiráskova a Vančurova a běžně je označujeme jako „staré pověsti české“. Jejich historická cena je spekulativního rázu. Vedou se o ní rozpory, které zdaleka nekončí. Hledat „historické jádro“ těchto pověstí, je fuška obtížná, a dost možná i zbytečná. Co historicky tyto pověsti přinášejí, víme z jiných pramenů. A spolehlivěji. Panování „předhistorických knížat“, vládu Libušinu a Přemyslovu Kosmas nedatuje. S datováním počíná až při nástupu křtu Bořivoje I. a končí smrtí knížete Oldřicha, kterou však nedopatřením datuje do roku 1037, správné vročení je 1034. Druhou knihu poslal Kosmas se zvláštním věnováním a společně s první opatu břevnovských benediktinů Klimentovi a na rozdíl od první knihy v ní hovoří o tom, co „jsme my sami viděli nebo co jsme se doslechli z hodnověrných vypravování očitých svědků“. Podmíněnost tohoto tvrzení je dána rokem Kosmova narození, tedy jak řečeno, asi rokem 1045, Jirka by na to opáčil cirka 4.10.1044. Zrcadlově přesné – kosmicky zaručeno, takže právě před 970 lety. Kosmas zde popisuje události od nastoupení knížete Břetislava I., do nastolení syna Vratislavova, Břetislava II., roku 1092.
Třetí kniha sahá od roku 1093 do smrti krále Vladislava I. do roku 1125, kdy Kosmas své vyprávění utnul jako utrum svého dechu. Celou kroniku věnoval mělnickému proboštu Šebířovi. Kosmova kronika je dílo nesporně monumentální, žádná serepetička, ale nese všechny znaky své doby. Časté jsou výpůjčky od jiných autorů, které Kosmas znal, nejvíce z kroniky Reginona z Prümu. Ale seznam, který sestavila moderní kritická historiografie, je mnohem obsáhlejší výcuc. Kosmu však nemůžeme vinit z „literárního vysamplování“. Středověk málo rozuměl hip hopu i pojmu autorských práv v našem slova smyslu a neznal ani pojem poem plagiátu. Je pochopitelné, že Kosmova kronika se nezachovala v originále. Tedy v té verzi, která vzešla z brku kronikářova hip hop don´t stop. Zato se zachovalo celkem patnáct opisů, různé hodnoty a z různých období. Nejstarší z konce 12. století, nejmladší z 16. století. První vydání tiskem pořídil roku 1602 Marquard Freher. Bylo to fresh. Nejlepší vydání, podle něhož vědci dosud s Kosmovou kronikou pracují, pořídil Bertold Bretholz roku 1923. Kosmova kronika je nejen počátkem českého neanonymního písemnictví, ale představuje stále podnět v soustředěném zájmu vědců, který je sotva vyčerpatelný. Have fun above all.
kamasutra sopka, když hloubka s vášnivou mlsnou Lilie famílie koketuje
kvete a po nocích neutichá, vlnící na bocích,
jako paní s dlaní hladička kódy jemných siločárek
její příkladný šarm je můj ranní šálek bez budíčku samička
zdobná jako sbírka flekatých mandal i sandál na potulno
Katalin ta kvete a do sedmého nebe zve ji potutelně nocturno
proniká a vyniká, „tajemně účelně“ její aura incognito neutichá
ZAJÍC
Zajíc je malé souhvězdí zimní oblohy ležící u nohou lovce Oriona, západně od jasné hvězdy Sírius a kulminující v polovině prosince. Zajímavým objektem je R Leporis zvaná Hindova karmínová hvězda podle britského astronoma, který ji popsal jako kapičku krve na černém pozadí. Červená barva této nepravidelně proměnné hvězdy je způsobena okolním prachovým oblakem, pohlcujícím modrou složku záření. Pozoruhodný je i hnědý trpaslík objevený zde Hubbleovým teleskopem. Je to něco mezi planetou a hvězdou, těleso stokrát méně hmotné než naše Slunce, ale desetkrát víc než planeta Jupiter. Není dost hmotný, aby v něm došlo k termojaderné reakci jako ve hvězdách, přesto je však horký a vyzařuje.
Arabové považovali souhvězdí za obrův (Orionův) trůn nebo čtyři velbloudy pijící z řeky Eridanus. Egypťané v něm viděli trůn nebo člun, na kterém se plavil bůh Osiris po Nilu.
Podle starořeckých pověr byl Zajíc oblíbenou kořistí lovce Oriona a proto se krčí u jeho nohou, v dosahu jeho psa.
A úžasnější projevy kronik – DO IT – PAUL´S BOUTIQUE by THE BEASTIE BOYS 1989 – LITERALLY ABNORMALLY GOOD STUFF… Chronicle wow monokle.
Do It (Beastie Boys/Hall/Nishita/Caldato)
(chorus) Do it, oh let's do it Oh let's do it with the disco flute, do it
Well like the Blackbyrds I'ma do it fluid "Do It, Fluid" - The Blackbyrds (1974). I'm building rhymes like buildings, like a stonehenge druid The famous Stonehenge in Engand was built by a loose band of people called druids. Step up and get enlightened, educating my mind I play the tape forward, it's not time to rewind Step inside the mother fucker and I get my flow on
Season's change when it comes their time Falls brings the winter and on back to springtime Well, it's the King Adrock and that's who I am Listen all of y'all I'm not the son of sam David Berkowitz was a New York area serial killer first dubbed the ".44 Caliber Killer". In the first letter he sent to police, he referred to himself as the "Son of Sam". He killed six people and wounded seven others before his capture in 1977. On Paul's Boutique in the song "Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun" Adrock proclaimed "predetermined destiny is who I am/I got my finger on the trigger like the Son of Sam". 'Cause I'm thin and I don't grin But check it out people 'cause I love to go and swim Caught up on the phone fiber optic distraction In the mid-1990's the telephone companies all got into heated advertising wars boasting their technological advancments, one of which was the introduction of fiber optics in the transmission of signals. Information super highway got the brain contraction Information super highway. You're on it, baby. I'm the Kung Fu Master vs. The Sumo Wrestler Got the beats in Manhattan you can hear in Westchester Westchester County, New York is home to communities like Scarsdale, Yonkers, and Pelham. Well, my mother was born out in coney island Coney Island is the famed amusement-park area of Brooklyn, New York. Raised on the L.E.S. Manhattan island L.E.S. is a common abbreviation for Manhattan's lower east side. My dad came out from Detroit and they had me Detroit, Michigan And on back through Ellis Island goes through the family tree Ellis Island, New York was the home of the immigration station from 1892 to 1954. 40% of the American population can trace their heritage through this immigration station. Well, I'm a six point seven on the Richter scale The Richter magnitude scale was developed by Charles F. Richter in 1935 to measure the intensity of earthquakes by utilizing logarithms of wave amplitude as recorded by seismographs. I've got rhymes gallot and then I never fail Like gravy on potatos, Luke to Darth Vader From the original Star Wars trilogy of films, Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader I'm a souped up sucker and I'll see you all later
Oh do it, oh let's do it
You see me coming down the block with the funky cuts You say yo, Mike D and I say mic these nuts I've got attractions like I'm Elvis Costello The British new wave band, Elvis Costello and the Attractions. Adam Yauch grab the mic 'cause you know you're my mellow Well when I get it into the zone I'm gonna take it to a place where my horn can blow Well I got my shit and the rhyme style's kicking My brain is flowing honest like Abe Lincoln Abraham Lincoln, president of the United States from 1861-1865, earned the nickname "honest" Abe Lincoln. 'Cause I'm the fuckin' rythm ace with the rhyme selection Listen all of y'all I rap with perfection Because I got the mother fuckin' old school flavor That you savor so watch your behavior Talking other dimensions, levels higher Why did billy joel say we didn't start the fire "We Didn't Start the Fire" - Billy Joel (1989). Take you to another realm, another level I've got the funky rhymes but I'm not the funky devil I step from minute to minute, lifetime to lifetime Step from stage to stage to see it all unwind Slowly but surely I seek to find my mind And every wall that I face is of my own design Glendale boulevard boulevard Glendale boulevard is where I'm at Glendale Boulevard in Hollywood, California. It's where I'm at, where I live Check it, check it out because my head is like a sieve "Earache My Eye" - Cheech and Chong (1974). Original lyric: "My teacer's talking to me and she tells me how to live But I don't listen to her 'cause my head is like a sieve." And yo, we turn it out
(chorus)
*Aw-iiight* *We got the funk*
To All the Girls
Keyboard sample: "Loran Dance" - Idris Muhammad.
Yea... To all the Brooklyn girls To all the French girls To all the Oriental girls Chinese... Japanese... To all the Swiss girls To the Italian women To the upper east side nubiles To all the Jamaican girls And to the top-less dancers Australian... And Brazilian To the southern belles To the Puerto Rican girls To the stewardesses flying around the world...
Shake Your Rump
Known samples: Opening drum roll: "Funky Snakefoot" - Alphonse Mouzon (1973). Primary beat sample: "Dancing Room Only" - Harvey Scales (1977). Additional beats: "Super Mellow" - Paul Humphrey "Good Times, Bad Times" - Led Zeppelin (1969). Additional samples: "6 O’Clock DJ" - Rose Royce (1976). "Born To Love You" - Rose Royce (1976). "Yo Yo" - Rose Royce (1976). "Jazzy Sensation" - Afrika Bambaataa & the Jazzy 5 (1981). "Tell Me Something Good" - Ronnie Laws (1975). "Get Off" - Foxy (1978).
Now I rock a house party at the drop of a hat I beat a biter down with an aluminum bat a lot of people they be jonesin' just to hear me rock the mic they'll be staring at the radio,staying up all night so like a pimp I'm pimpin' I got a boat to eat shrimp in Nothing wrong with my leg I'm just B-boy limpin' Got arrested at the Mardi Gras for jumping on a float The Mardi Gras is New Orleans, Louisiana's version of "carnival". The three day, city-wide party is full of parades and what-not. My man MCA's got a beard like a billy goat Yauch's short-lived goatee look gets props. *oowah oowah* is my disco call The above sample could come from any number of places, since it was a fairly common disco call: two possible sources: "Let's All Chant" - Michael Zager Band (1978) and "8th Wonder" - The Sugarhill Gang (1980). Since this same Sugarhill Gang song gets sampled a little later in the song, it's quite possible it came from there. MCA *hu-huh* I'm gettin' rope y'all Routines I bust and the rhymes that I write And I'll be busting routines and rhymes all night Like eating burgers or chicken or you'll be picking your nose I'm on time, homey, that's how it goes You heard my style I think you missed the point *it's the joint * sample: "That's the Joint" - Funky 4+1 (1980).
Mike D with your bad self running things What's up with your bad breath onion rings I'm Mike D and I'm back from the dead A rumor going around during the hiatus between Licensed to Ill and Paul's Boutique was that Mike D had OD'd, been murdered, killed by Run-DMC, or whatever version you heard. Chillin' at the beach down at Club Med "Club Med" is an international chain of resort facilities. Make another record 'cause the people they want more of this Suckers they be saying they can take out Adam Horovitz Hurricane you got clout The first reference, lyrically to DJ Hurricane, who became their full-time DJ after Doctor Dre quit during the "Together Forever" tour with Run D.M.C. Since I have received some mail concerning this, I will rectify here any confusion: Doctor Dre should not be confused with Dr. Dre. Dr. Dre is the former NWA member and producer extraordinaire. Doctor Dre is the portly guy who used to host Yo! MTV Raps with Ed Lover. Coincidentally, in case you care: Ed and Dre are still together hosting a radio program in the NYC area. Other DJ's he'll put your head out A puppet on a string I'm paid to sing or rhyme Or do my thing I'm in a lava lamp inside the brain hotel I might be peakin' or freakin' but I rock well The Patty Duke Show, the wrench, and then I bust the tango The Patty Duke Show was television program that aired in the 1950's. Apparently, we learn later on Check Your Head that the Patty Duke is also a dance. The tango is a traditional latin dance where the partners strut cheek-to-cheek, very often the female has a rose clenched in her teeth. Think of Gomez and morticia Adams ;-) In this context, it is safe to say that the wrench then must also be a dance manuever of Mike D's. Got more rhymes than Jamaica got Mango Kangols I got the peg leg at the end of my stump *Shake your rump* sample: "Unity" - Afrika Bambaataa and James Brown (1984).
I'm full clout ya'll, I'm full clout ya'll And when the mic is in my mouth I turn it out ya'll I'm full clout...
Never been dumped 'cause I'm the most mackinest Never been jumped 'cause I'm known the most packinest sample: guitar sample for next few measures partially lifted from "Could You Be Loved" - Bob Marley (1980). Yeah we've got beef chief We're knocking out teeth chief And if you don't believe us you should question your belief Keith Like Sam the butcher bringing Alice the meat On The Brady Bunch television series, Alice's boyfriend was Sam the Butcher. Like Fred Flintstone driving around with bald feet Calls to mind the famous image from The Flintstones animated television series from the '60's of Fred powering his car with his feet. Should I have another sip? naw, skip it In the back of the ride and bust with the whippets "Whippets" is a common name for small cannisters of nitrous oxide (laughing gas) for inhaling purposes. Rope a dope dookies all around the neck *Whoo ha got them all in check* sample: "8th Wonder" - The Sugarhill Gang (1980). Running from the law the press and the parents *Is your name Michael Diamond?* No mine's Clarence From downtown, Manhattan, the village Manhattan and Greenwich Village in New York City. My style is wild and you know that it still is Disco bag schlepping and you're doing the bump The Bump was a popular and very easy disco step in the 1970's. Basically you just stood beside your partner and bumped your hips together to the rhythm. *Shake your rump* sample: "Unity" - Afrika Bambaataa and James Brown (1984).
Johnny Ryall
Known samples: Wind sample: "One of These Days" - Pink Floyd (1971). Beats: "Momma Miss America" - Paul McCartney (1970). "Military Cut-Scratch Mix" - Grandwizard Theodore & Kevie Kev Rockwell (1983). bass, rhythm, and lead guitar samples: "Sharon" - David Bromberg (1972). additional samples: "Magnificent Sanctuary Band" - Donny Hathaway (1971).
Johnny Ryall is the bum on my stoop I gave him fifty cents to buy some soup He knows the time with the fresh Gucci watch Given the status of Gucci one must assume this is like the Rolexes you can buy at the flea market for 5 dollars. Also a possible reference to "Gucci Time"- Schooly D (1986). He's even more over than the mayor Ed Koch Very popular New York City mayor at the time of this recording. Washing windows on the Bowery at a quarter to four America's most famous skid row, The Bowery in Manhattan, NYC. 'Cause he ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more "Maggie's Farm" Bob Dylan (1965). Living on borrowed time and borrowed money Sleepin' on the street there ain't a damn thing funny Hand me down food and hand me down clothes A rockabilly past of which nobody knows Makes his home all over the place He goes to sleep by falling down on his face Sometimes known as the leader of the homeless Sometimes drunk and he's always phoneless Sleepin' on the street in a cardboard box He's better off drinkin' than smokin' the rocks Johnny Ryall, Johnny Ryall Kickin' uptown Kickin' downtown Kickin' crosstown Johnny Ryall, Johnny Ryall
He drinks where he lies He's covered with flies He's got the hand me down Pumas and the tie dyes Puma was a popular tennis sneaker in the 1980's but definitely on the way out as credible streetwear in 1989. Tie dye fashion consisted of dying cotton fabrics with various colorful dyes while the garment was tied into folds or bunches. The result was brightly colored clothing approximating an acid trip, hence it's popularity in the 1960's. Go upstate and get your head together Thunderbird is the word and you're light as a feather Thunderbird Wine is a cheap wine. "Bird is the word" comes from the surf/rockabilly classic "Surfin' Bird" by The Trashmen (1964) Detox at the flop house no booze allowed Remember the good old days with the rockabilly crowd Memphis is where he's from (in Tennessee) Memphis, Tennessee: home of Sun Records. Around 1954, Sam Phillips assembled a group of new, young artists: Johnny Cash, Elvis Presley, Roy Orbison, and Carl Perkins. While rockabilly was already a musical style, it was largely this group of luminaries, Elvis most notably, that is reponsible for the international phenomenon known as rock and roll. He lives in the street but he's no bum A rockabilly star from the days of old He used to have teeth all filled with gold A platinum voice but only gold records On the bass was boots on the drums was checkers Louis Vuitton with the Gucci guitar Louis Vuitton is a design company specializing in fashion baggage. Gucci isalso a fashion designer. Does Gucci make guitars? Maybe they came in aLouis Vuitton guitar case? I don't know. One site visitor has siggested that "Gucci" was simply a street slang term for anything that was very nice or expensive. Johnny Ryall *Who do you think you are?* sample: "Mr. Big Stuff" - Jean Knight (1971). Johnny Ryall, Johnny Ryall Checkin' the night train "Night Train" - James Brown (1961). Several site visitors have hipped me to the fact that Night Train is also a brand of cheap wine, which given the context of the lines surrounding it, makes perfect sense. Checkin' the O.E. "Olde English" malt liquor. Johnny Ryall, Johnny Ryall
Donald Trump Donald Tramp living in the Men's Shelter Donald Trump, the infamous New York real estate tycoon. Wonder Bread bag shoes and singing Helter Skelter It is a common pracitce among the homeless to wrap their feet in plastic bags to keep the moisture out. "Helter Skelter" - The Beatles (1968). The Charles Manson Family scrawled "Healter Skealter" in blood at the Sharon Tate house, forever linking the song to insanity/mental instability. Wonder Bread is a brand of white bread owned by the Continental Baking Company, which is owned by Interstate Brands Coproration. He asks for a dollar you know what it's for Bottle after bottle he'll always need more He's no less important than you working class stiffs Drinks a lot of liquor but he don't drink piss Paid his dues playing the blues He claims that he wrote the Blue Suede Shoes "Blue Suede Shoes" - Carl Perkins (1954). (Sorry, Johhny) Elvis shaved his head when he went into the army Elvis Presley was inducted into the Army and served from 1958-1960. *That's right y'all his name is* sample: "AJ Scratch" - Kurtis Blow (1984). Johnny Kick it! Johnny Ryall Check the cool wax!
Egg Man
According to Mike Simpson, one half of the Dust Brothers: "We became obsessed with throwing eggs at people. The Beasties were staying at the Mondrian hotel, on the ninth floor. Summer was starting and everyday all these people would line up in front of the Comedy Store across the street. It was just open season. Eventually, they got a very diplomatic letter from the hotel management, like 'We've had some reports of things falling out of your window. If there's a problem with your window, please let us know.' Then we started driving around in limos, throwing eggs at people. That's how we came up with the song 'Egg Man'." (source: Spin Magazine)
Known samples: Primary beat sample: "Sport" - Ligtnin' Rod (1973). Bass line sample: "Superfly" - Curtis Mayfield (1972). Music sample at "I'm on the move": "Dance to the Music" - Sly and the Family Stone (1968).
I looked out the window and seen his bald head I ran to the fridge and pulled out an egg Scoped him with my scopes he had no hair Launched that shot and he was caught out there Saw the convertible driving by Loaded up the slingshot and let one fly He went for his to find he didn't have one Put him in check correct with my egg gun The egg a symbol of life Go inside your house and bust out your wife Pulled out the jammy he thought it was a joke The trigger I pulled his face the yoke Reached in his pocket took all his cash Left my man standing with an egg moustache Suckers they come a dime a dozen And when I say dozen you know what I'm talking about
Yea that's right I'm the Egg Man Driving around King of the town Yea Always got my windows rolled down Ready to throw You know I'm the Egg Man (Once upon a time) Egg Man.
Humpty Dumpty was a big fat egg From the nursery rhyme, Humpty Dumpty was portrayed as an egg. He was playing the wall and then he broke his leg Tossed it out the window three minutes hot Hit the Rastaman he said *bloodclot* Which came first the chicken or the egg? I egged the chicken then I ate his leg Riding the trains in between cars When I pull out the station *you're gonna get yours* sample: "You're Gonna Get Yours" - Public Enemy (1987). Drive by eggings plaguing L.A. *Yo they just got my little cousin ese* Sometimes hard boiled sometimes runny (ray!) Raymond White, aka Runny Ray, of Run DMC's crew; also a central character in the RUN-DMC film Tougher Than Leather. It comes from a chicken not a bunny dummy Cadbury Easter Egg commercials always portrayed a clucking rabbit laying their candy eggs. People laugh it's no joke My name's Yauch and I'm throwing the yolk *Now they got me in a cell* but I don't care sample: "Bring the Noise" - Public Enemy (1988) It was then that I caught catching people out there
Up on the roof, In my car Up all night I'm going through science like Dolemite Dolemite a film by D'Urville Martin (1975). The Mack, Who I'm the Egg Man, taxi driver I'm the Egg Man Egg Man Egg Man
We all dressed in black we snuck up around the back We began to attack the eggs did crack on Haze's back Eric Haze is a famous New York grafitti artist. He also did the lettering for Check Your Head LP cover. These two lines are almost directly ripped from the Beastie Boys song, "Egg Raid on Mojo". Original lyrics: "We all dressed in black, we snuck up around the back We began to attack, the eggs did crack on Mojo's back" Sam I am down with the program Green eggs and ham Yosemite Sam "Sam I am" and "green eggs and ham" from Green Egss and Ham by Dr. Seuss. Yosemite Sam is one of Bugs Bunny's many antagonists from the Looney Toons cartoons. Come Halloween you know I come strapped Egging is a popular tradition on October 31st. I throw it at a sucker K-pap You made the mistake you judge a man by his race You go through life with egg on your face You woke up in the morning with a peculiar feeling You looked up and saw egg dripping from the ceiling Families, punk rocks, the businessman I'll dog anybody with an egg in my hand Not like the crack that you put in a pipe But crack on your forehead here's a towel now wipe There's a whole mess of samples right here at the end, listen closely :) the "weent! weeent!" music sample: comes from famous shower scene in the film Psycho; score composed by Bernard Herrmann the clanging bells and harmonica accompaniment is from the opening scene of the film Jaws (1975) directed by Steven Spielberg. Violin samples at end: "Lucy in The Sky with Diamonds" - The Beatles (1967).
High Plains Drifter
Known samples: Bass line sample: "Those Shoes" - The Eagles (1979) Moaning sample: "Put Your Love (In My Tender Care)" - Fatback Band (1975).
'Cause I'm a high plains drifter And I'm the drifter The high plains drifter And I'm the drifter They can't catch me never gonna find me They're never gonna know that I'm the High Plains Drifter High Plains Drifter, a 1973 film starring Clint Eastwood. Pulled over to the river to take a rest Pulled out a pair of pliers and pulled the bullet out of my chest Fear and loathing across the country listening to my 8 track Book titleFear and Loathing in Las Vegas: A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream by Dr. Hunter S. Thompson (1971) Reached behind the seat and grabbed a Kool from the pack Kool is a brand of menthol cigarettes. Long distance from my girl and I'm talking on the cellular She said that she was sorry and I said yeah the hell you were Check my rear view mirror check the gold tooth display "I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide" - ZZ Top (1979). Original lyrics: "With my New York brim and my gold tooth displayed Nobody give me trouble cause they know I got it made. ' Check the odometer and I was on my way Cause I'm a high plains drifter the best that you can get A strapped shoplifter a pirate on cassette Bust a Travis Bickle when I feel that I'm getting pushed Travis Bickle was the character portrayed by Robert De Niro in the 1976 film Taxi Driver, directed by Martin Scorcese. Don't step to me or you're gonna get mushed Doing 120 plowing over mail boxes Radar detector to tell me where the cops is Spend another night at the Motel 6 The Motel 6 chain of economy motels. It's five dollars extra get the porno flicks (and then I) Concoct a black and tan in my brandy snifter A black and tan is a popular English brew, a mixture of a dark Irish stout and a pale ale. I'm a kleptomaniac K-Mart shoplifter K-Mart is a chain of discount department stores. Cash flow getting low so I had to pull a job I found a nice place to visit but a better place to rob Left the car outside with the engine still revvin' Time to get busy at 7-Eleven 7-Eleven is a chain of convenience stores. Went inside to make my withdrawal I saw all that he had, but I had to take it all Knucklehead deli tried to gyp me on the price So I clocked him off the turban with the bag of ice The Beastie Boys recognize the high frequency of Indian/Pakistani/Arabian folk working in convenience stores. 'Cos I'm mellow like Jell-O, cool like lemonade Jell-O is arguably the most popular dessert gelatin known to mankind. Made my getaway and I thought that I had it made I feel like Steve McQueen a former movie star Look in my rearview mirror seen a police car Probably the 1972 Steve McQueen film The Getaway. Ballantine quarts with the puzzle on the cap Ballantine is a brand of beer. Under the cap are little picture puzzles that spell out phrases. The back of the Check Your Head tour t-shirt had a similar puzzle that had picutres of: a group of bees + a cup of tea + three boys. I couldn't help but notice I was caught in a speed trap Dirty Mary Crazy Larry on the run from Dirty Harry Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry was film starring Peter Fonda in 1974. Dirty Harry was a film starring Clint Eastwood in 1971. Stash the cash in the dash but my gun I did carry I'm seeing blue and red flashing deep in the night I got my alibi straight and I pulled over to the right Cop knocked on my window and said "Boy where's the fire? You've got a mailbox on your bumper and a bald front tire *Outta the car longhair* your goose is cooked" sample: "Your Mama Don't Dance" - Loggins and Messina (1972) Read me my rights fingerprinted and booked Makin' like a D.T. driving a Grand Fury "D.T." is street slang for police officer, presumably derived from "detective". The other reference in this line, the awesome Plymouth Grand Fury automobile, the car of choice for many police departments in the 1970's. Wherever I hang my hat's my home and my past is kind of blurry Every dog will have its day and mine will be in front of a jury I'm the High Plains Drifter and I'm never in a hurry Read me my rights as if I didn't know this Threw me in the tank with the drunk called Otis With his five o' clock shadow he smelled of 3-day old beer "Otis" is the name of the town drunk in the television series The Andy Griffith Show. My man turned to me and said "Why are you here?" I said, "I'm charming and dashing, I'm rental car bashing Phony paper passing at Nix Check Cashing" A small chain of check cashing locations in Long Beach, CA Went before the judge he sent me to the Brooklyn House of D. He said you behave son or we'll throw away the key Houdini'd out the cuffs I kicked the screw in the knee Harry Houdini is considered to be the greatest escape artist of all time. Took the bailiff's wallet and went straight to O.T.B. I had a good feeling easy come easy go OTB is an acronym for "off track betting". Horse race wagering without having to go to the track. I bet on one horse to win and your mother to show In horse racing, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place is called win, place, and show, respectively. And sure enough that nag came in "Up on Cripple Creek" - The Band (1969). Original lyrics: "She bet on one horse to win and I bet on another to show The odds were in my favor, I had 'em five to one And when that nag to win came around the track Sure enough she had won." Brought my ticket to the window and collected my win And then I, broke into my new car with a wire coat hanger Hot wired hot wheeled and *Suzy is a headbanger* sample: "Suzy is a Headbanger" - The Ramones (1977)
Sounds of Science
Known samples: Bass lines in first half of song: "Walk From Regio's" - Isaac Hayes (1971). Jet flying overhead: "Back in the U.S.S.R." - The Beatles (1968). Oboe track at beginning: "When I'm Sixty-Four" - The Beatles (1967). Guitar sample in second half: "The End" - The Beatles (1969). Drum track in second half: "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise)" - The Beatles (1967).
Now here we go dropping science dropping it all over Like bumping around the town like when you're driving a Range Rover The original SUV. Expanding the horizons and expanding the parameters Expanding the rhymes of sucker M.C. amateurs "Sucker MC's" - Run DMC. First apeard as the B-side to their "It's Like That" single in 1983 and later appeared on their first, self-titled LP in 1984. Naugels, Isaac Newton, Scientific E.Z. Sir Isaac Newton should not need any introduction, since he formulated thetheories of gravity and motion. Unfortunately mispelled in the liner notes, "naguals" were spiritual/scientific leaders of an ancient Mexican culture known as the Toltecs, researched most prominently by Carlos Castenada. Someone named "E.Z. Mike" is featured at the end of the "Shake your Rump"video. Ben Franklin with the kite getting over with the key Legend has it that while contemplating the power of electricity in lightning that Benjamin Franklin flew a kite in a thunderstorm that had a metal skeleton key threaded onto the kite string. Rock shocking the mic as many times times the times tables Rock well to tell dispel all of the old fables I've been dropping the new science and kicking the new knowledge An M.C. to a degree that you can't get in college The dregs of the earth and the eggs that I eat I've got pegs through my hands and one through my feet Sounds like some sort of Jesus Christ allusion to me. Shea Stadium the radium E M D squared Shea Stadium is the home of the New York Mets inQueens,New York. Radium is a radioactive, metallic element with an atomic number of 88, which is around the time some of these songs were written, 1988-1989. EMD is one of the "big 5" that handles the distribution of record companies worldwide. Nearly 90% of recorded music in the world is distributed by just these five companies. Capitol Records, the label for which this album was recorded, uses EMD for the their distribution. The "squared" makes a play on the Albert Einstein equation "e = mc2(to the second power, or squared). Got kicked out of the Palladium you think that I cared It is rumored that the Beastie Boys were permanently banned from the Palladium Ampitheater in 1988 after a performance there. It's the sound of science
*(crowd noise)* sample: "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" - The Beatles (1967). Rope a dope Refers to Muhammad Ali's boxing strategy which he called "rope a dope". The newest in new *right up to your face and dis you!* sample: "My Philosophy" - Boogie Down Productions (1988). Waxin' and milkin' all ya'll square heads
Time and money for girls covered with honey Two different site visitors have suggested that this line references the Licensed To Ill tour when the Beastie Boys reportedly would invite young girls on stage (or backstage) and pour honey on their bodies. this allegedly resulted in lawsuits from the girls' parents. I have yet to find any corroborating evidence of this, however, I thought the two seperate mentions of this (while it could well be rumor, still) warranted a mention. You lie and aspire to be as cunning Reeling and rockin' and rollin' B size D cup Order the quarter deluxe why don't you wake up The Quarter Deluxe was a limited time burger at McDonald's. My mind is kinda flowin like an oil projector Had to get up to get the Jimmy protector Went berserk and worked and exploded She woke up in the morning and her face was coated Buddy you study the man on the mic D. do what you like Drunk a skunk am I from the celebration To peep that freak unique penetration I figured out who makes the crack It's the suckers with the badges and the blue jackets A professor of science cause I keep droppin' it I smell weak cause you keep poppin' it People always asking what's the phenomenon Yo what's up know what's going on No one really knows what I'm talking about Yeah that's right my name's Yauch scratch sample: "Get Up, Get Into It, Get Involved" by James Brown (1970).
Ponce De Leon constantly on The fountain of youth not Robotron Ponce De Leon was a Spanish Explorer who discovered Florida while searching for the fountain of youth. Robotron: 2084 was a popular arcade video game released in 1982. Peace is a word I've heard before So move and move and move upon the dance floor I'm gonna die gonna die one day Cause I'm goin and goin and goin this way Not like a roach or a piece of toast I'm going out first class not going out coach Rock my Adidas never rock Fila Adidas and Fila are sneaker companies. "My Addidas" - Run DMC (1986). *I do not sniff the coke I only smoke sinsemilla* sample: "Don't Sniff Coke" - Pato Banton (1987). With my nose I knows and with my scopes I scope What I live I write and that is strictly rope I've got science for any occasion Postulating theorems formulating equations Cheech wizard in a snow blizzard Cheech Wizard comic strip by Vaughn Bode. Eating chicken gizzards with a girl named Lizzy Dropping science like Galileo dropped a orange Galileo Galilei (1564-1642) the Renaissance mathemetician, inventor, and astronomer who supposedly dropped items off of the Tower of Pisa to demonstrate the effects of gravity on things of varying weights (there is none).
3-Minute Rule
Known samples: Beginning/ending beats: "The Brave and the Strong" - Sly and the Family Stone (1971). Primary beat sample: "Take the Money and Run" - Steve Miller Band (1976).
Stay up all night go to sleep watching Dragnet Dragnet, the classic police drama television series starring Jack Webb during the 1960's. Never sleep alone because Jimmy's the magnet I'm so rope they call me Mr. Roper Mr. Roper was the original landlord on the 1970's television program Three's Company played by Don Fell. When the troubles arise I'm the cool coper On the mic I score just like the Yankees The New York Yankees professional baseball team. Get over on Ms. Crabtree like my main man Spanky From the Our Gang and Little Rascals film shorts. Mrs. Crabtree was an elementary teacher at the school that Spanky and the gang attended. Excuse me young lady I don't mean to trouble ya But you're looking mighty fine inside your B.M.W. A German. luxury automobile. I got lucky I brought home a kitten Before I got busy I schlepped on my mitten Can't get better odds cause I'm a sure thing Proud Mary keeps on turning rolling like a Ring Ding "Proud Mary" - Creedence Clearwater Revival (1968). Ring Ding is a type of snack cake made by Drake's Cakes. Jump the turnstile never pay the tool Doo wa diddy bust with the pre-roll "Doo Wah Diddy" (Greenwich/Barry) was released by two groups in 1964, the relatively unknown Exciter's girl-group version followed by the one-everyone-has-heard by Manfred Mann. Original lyrics are: "There she was just a-walkin' down the street Singin' do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do" Customs jail me over an herb seed Don't rat on your boy over some rat weed I'm out of your backdoor and into another Your boyfriend doesn't know about me and your mother Not perfect grammar always perfect timing The Mike stands for money and the D. is for diamonds
Roses are red the sky is blue I got my barrel at your neck so what the fuck you gonna do It's just two wheels and me the wind in my eyes The engine is the music and my nine's by my side Cause you know Y-A-U-C-H I'm takin' all M.C.'s out of the place Takin' life as it comes no fool am I I'm goin' off gettin' paid and I don't ask why Playin' beats on my box makin' music for the many Know alota def girls who like to do their thing A lot of parents like to think I'm a villain I'm just chillin' like Bob Dylan Bob Dylan was the "voice" of his generation in the 1960's. I smoke cheeba it helps me with my brain I might be a little dusted but I'm not insane People come up to me and they try to talk shit man I've been making records since you were sucking on your mother's limp dick
Girl you're walking tall now with your fancy clothes You got fancy things going up your nose You get fancy gifts from expensive men You're a dog on a leash like a pig in a pen Mothership connection getting girl's affection Parliament album Mothership Connection (1976). If your life needs correction don't follow my direction You got your 8 by 10 your agent your Harley Harley-Davidson, American motorcycle manufacturer. You be driving around Hollywood, yo, sorry charlie The Sunkist tuna company had a popular television commercial with the catch phrase "Sorry, Charlie". Cause I'm running things like some Mack motherfucker Your only claim to fame is you're a false fake sucker You slip you slack you clock me you lack While I'm reading On the Road by my man Jack Kerouac Jack Kerouac (1922-1969) wrote On the Road which was published in 1957. Poetry in motion coconut lotion I had to diss the girl because she got too emotional Are you experienced, little girl? "Are you Experienced?" - Jimi Hendrix (1967). I want to know what goes on in your little girl world Give time for your mind it's hard to forget me I'll take your pride for a ride if you let me So peace out now, and keep peacing out Full throttle to the bottle and full full clout And I'm out
Hey Ladies
Known music samples: "Machine Gun" - The Commodores (1974). "Jungle Boogie" - Kool and the Gang (1973). "Shake your Pants" - Cameo (1980). "Pumpin' It Up" - P-Funk All Stars (1983).
Hey ladies in the place I'm callin' out to ya There never was a city kid truer and bluer There's more to me than you'll ever know And I've got more hits than Sadaharu Oh Sadaharu Oh has the distinction of being -the- all-time home run hitter in American or Japanese professional baseball, topping even Hank Aaron. Ton Thumb Tom Cushman or tom-foolery Tom Thumb was a tiny boy only a few inches tall in an old child's tale. Tom Cushman is a long-time friend of the Beastie Boys, having done some of the one-off side-projects with some of them, including Brooklyn and the Beat Brothers. Date women on T.V. with the help of Chuck Woolery Chuck Woolery hosted a syndicated dating television program called The Love Connection. Words are flowing out just like the Grand Canyon The largest canyon on earth, located in Arizona, USA. And I'm always out looking for a female companion I threw the lasso around the tallest one and dragged her to the crib I took off her moccasins and put on my bib I'm wheelin' and dealin' I make a little bit of stealing I'll bring you back to the place and your dress I'm peeling Your body's on time and your mind is appealing Staring at the cracks up there upon the ceiling Some such nonsense is the bass that I'm throwing Talking to a girl telling her I'm all knowing She's talking to the kid to the who I'm telling here every lie that you know that I never did *Hey ladies* sample: "Party Time" - Kurtis Blow (1983). * a.. get funky* sample: "Hey DJ" - World's Famous Supreme Team (1984). *all the ladies in the house, the ladies, the ladies* sample: "Jazzy Sensation" - Afrika Bambaataa (1982).
Me in the corner with a good looking daughter I dropped my drawers and it was *welcome back Kotter* I'm not sure where the sample comes from, but Welcome Back Kotter was a television show in the 1970's starring Gabe Kaplan and John Travolta. We were cutting up the rug she started cutting up the carpet In my apartment I begged her please stop it The gift of gab is the gift that I have And that girl ain't nothing but a crab Educated no stupid yes And when I say stupid I mean stupid *fresh* scratched sample: "Change le Beat" - B-side and Fab 5 Freddy (1982). I'm not James at 15 or Chachi in charge James at 15 was a sitcom in the late 1970's. Scott Baio, who played Chachi on the television series Happy Days later starred in a short-lived sitcom called Charles in Charge. I'm Adam and I'm adamant about living large With the white sassoons and the looks that kill Makin' love in the back of my Coupe De Ville The only model of Cadillac that matters. I met a little cutie she was all hopped up on zootie I liked the little cutie but I kicked her in the bootie Cause I don't kinda go for that messin' around You be listening to my records a number one sound Step to the rhythm step step to the ride I've got an open mind so why don't you all get inside Tune in turn on to my tune that's live The phrase "turn on, tune in, drop out", which became a rally-cry for the 1960's counter-culture was coined by Dr. Timothy Leary. Girls flock like bee's to a hive *Hey ladies* *a.. get..* *funky* The first two samples come from the sources mentioned after the first verse but the "funky" here has a different source. "Funky President" - James Brown (1965). Hey, hey, hey, hey... hey ladies *girls girls* Hey, hey, hey, hey... hey ladies *one more time* *ain't it funky now* sample: "Ain't it Funky Now" - James Brown (1969). Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ladies *ain't it funky now* sample: "Ain't It Funky Now" - James Brown (1969).
Now you know that... She's got a gold tooth you know she's hardcore She'll show you a good time then she'll show you the door Break up with your girl it ended in tears Vincent Van Gogh call and mail that ear Vincent van Gogh (1853-1890). There is a popular legend that van Gogh cut off his ear and mailed it to the object of his unrequited love. While somewhat true, not entirely. He did remove a portion of his earlobe and did present it to someone, but not through the mail. Do your own research on this one. :) I call her in the middle of the night when I'm drinking The phone booth on the corner is damp and it's stinking She said come on over it was me that she missed I threw that trash can through her window cause you know I got dissed Your old lady left you and you went insane You blew yourself up in the back of the 6 train Take my advice at any price a gorilla like your mother is mighty weak, man From the theme for the Hanna-Barberra cartoon Magilla Gorilla. Original lyrics are: "Take our advice at any price A gorilla like Magilla is mighty nice." Sucking down pints till I didn't know Woke up in the morning at the Won Ton Ho Cause I announce I like girls that bounce With the weight that pays about a pound per ounce Girls with curls and big long locks And beatnik chicks just wearing their smocks Walking high and mighty like she's #1 and *She thinks she's the passionate one* sample: "Ballroom Blitz" - Sweet (1974).
*Hey ladies* *a.. get funky* these two samples same as after first verse *Good god* *Good god* sample: "War" - Edwin Starr (1970). *damn* sample: "Funky President" - James Brown (1965). *Good god* same as above *Baby baby baby baby* sample: "Hush" - Deep Purple (1968). *Is it funky brother?* sample: "Funky President" - James Brown (1965). *Hee haa haa haa...* Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies Hey, hey ladies
5-Piece Meal Entire music comes from "Shuckin' the Corn" by Eric Weissberg which appeared on the soundtrack to the 1974 film Deliverance.
Looking Down The Barrel of a Gun Known samples: Primary beat sample: "Last Bongo in Belgium" - Incredible Bongo Band (1973). Piano chord sample: "Time" - Pink Floyd (1973). Additional samples: "Put Your Hand in the Hand" - Ocean (1971).
Rolling down the hill snowballing getting bigger An explosion in the chamber the hammer from the trigger I seen him get stabbed I watched the blood spill out He had more cuts than my man Chuck Chillout Influential old-school DJ who put out party records in the 1980's and has mixing credits on Public Enemy's It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back. 24 is my age .22 is my gauge Writing rhymes on a page going off in a rage Out on a mission a stolen car mission Had a small problem with the transmission 3 on the tree in the middle of the night I have this steak on my head cause I got into a fist fight Life comes in phases take the good with the bad You bought those coins on the street and you got had It's all high spirit you know you gotta hear it Don't touch the mic baby don't come near it It's gonna get you it's gonna get you It's gonna get you girl it's gonna get you
Looking down the barrel of a gun Son of a gun son of a bitch Getting paid getting rich sample: drums and bit of guitar distortion here from "Mississippi Queen" - Mountain (1979). Ultra violence running through my head An allusion to Stanley Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange film (1971), a more obvious reference follows. Fuzzy navel y'all making me see red Fuzzy Navel is a mixed drink comprised of peach schnapps and orange juice. Rapid fire louie like Rambo got bullets John Rambo became the quintessential action hero, popularized by Sylvester Stallone, starting with the film First Blood in 1982. I'm a gonna die harder like my kid Bruce Willis Bruce Willis franchise of action movies began in 1988 with Die Hard. I love girlies waxing and milking Co-ordinating trim is my man Dave Scilken Childhood friend of Adam Horovitz who died of a drug overdose in 1991 (two years after thisrecording). Scilken was also in The Young and the Useless with Horovitz prior to the Beastie Boys. On the Licensed to Ill and Together Forever tours, Scilken earned the title of "trim co-ordinator". His primary duties in this role was to procure females from the crowd and present them with backstage passes. Predetermined destiny is who I am You got your finger on the trigger like the Son of Sam I am David Berkowitz was a NYC area serial killer in the late 1970's. He terrorized the city for 13 months before his capture, killing six people. The first nickname he acquired during his spree was given to him because of his weapon of choice, the ".44 caliber killer". Later, in letters to the police left at the scenes of his crimes, Berkowitz referred to himself as the "Son of Sam."This line of the song also seems to make brief reference to the story Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss which begins "I am Sam/Sam I am". Like Clockwork Orange going off on the town Here's the other more obvious A Clockwork Orange reference. I've got homeboy's bonanza to beat your ass down I'm mad at my desk and I'm writing all curse words Expressing my aggressions through my schizophrenic verse words You're a headless chicken chasin' a sucker free basin Looking for a fist to put your face in Get hip, get hip - don't slip ya knuckle heads Racism is schism on the serious tip
Car Thief Known samples: Primary sample: "Rien Ne Va Plus" - Funk Factory (1976). Additional samples: "I Bet You" - Funkadelic (1970).
Some static started in the pool hall In a motherfucker's face with the cue ball Then I met this girl she tried to gank me So I smacked her in the booty with a Plank Bee Me and my crew out breaking windows The bingo the lotto you know I'll never win those Possession is half the law I had my routines before all y'all Your whole life is coming apart at the seams You ain't nothing but a car thief biting routines See, I'm a city slicker I ain't no townie Right now I wish I had another hash brownie Like Ricky always said you've got to toke and pass Probably Ricky Powell, see later reference. Or Mookie's gonna kick your mother fuckin' ass Mookie was head of security on the Licensed to Ill tour. You try to take what isn't yours like a God damn rat *See personally I wouldn't want to go out like that* I'm a writer a poet a genius I know it I don't buy cheeba I grow it *I'm a farmer* Spoken by Max Yasgur on the Woodstock recording released in 1970. People always trying to get next to me I had a beautiful experience on Ecstasy I smoked up a bag of elephant tranquilizer Because I had to deal with a money hungry miser Had a 'caine filled Kool with my man Russ Rush Kool is a popular brand of menthol cigarettes. The "money hungry miser" and "Russ Rush" most likely referese to Russell "Rush" Simmons, owner of Def Jam Records and Rush Artist Management with whom the Beastie Boys had money squabbles that resulted in their leaving Def Jam after their first LP. Saw my teeth fall in the sink when I started to brush You be doing nose candy on the Bowie Coke Mirror Presumably David Bowie, the Legendary Stardust Cowboy. My girl asked for some but I pretended not to hear her You can't deny me you always want to try me You're just gonna get your ass kicked Homeboy throw in the towel Your girl got dicked by Ricky Powell Ricky Powell, longtime friend and film maker who has documented the Beastie Boys' career on film and assisted in the direction of many of their videos. The Godfather of Soul is in the belly of the beast The godfather of soul is naturally James Brown, who was incarcerated ("the belly of the beast") during this period of time. For smoking that dust at St. Anthony's Feast Here's a Catholic reference that I can identify but I don't know what relevance it has. St. Anthony is the Holy Matchmaker. Young girls made a pilgrimage to St. Anthony's shrine during the feast and pray to God for a good boy. Meanwhile, good Catholic boys were encouraged to make the same pilgrimage and wait outside the shrine, and ask ladies exiting to dance. It is also asummer festival in NYC.
All the wife beaters and all the tax cheaters Sitting in the White House pulling their peters Buy me cheeba from the cop down the street The only cop with a rope chain walking the beat Like a sneaky pouch time bomb tickin' Like the beat to my rhyme just kickin' Space cake cookies I discover who I am I'm a dusted old bummy Hurdy Gurdy Man A hurdy gurdy man is a type of street performer who plays a music box while a monkey on a leash dances and performs tricks. "Hurdy Gurdy Man" - Donovan (1968). Donovan (aka Donovan Leitch) happens to be the father of actress Ione Skye Leitch. At the time of this recording, Adam Horovitz was dating Ione, whom he would later marry and then subsequently divorce. sample: The drum sample which immediate follows this line comes straight from the recording by Donovan. Five-O caught me now I'm going to the mountains While the reference isn't peculiar to Beastie Boys lyrics, it does have a pop culture reference. Thisterm, street-slang for "the police" references the 1970's television police drama Hawaii Five-O. Said good-bye to my girl my lawyers and accountants My mind is kinda rhymin and I think I oughta think So I'm rockin all the rhymes and I'll have another drink So the lights are flashing my mind is spinning I feel like it is always the beginning Of another rhyme I'm rapping M.C.'ing I rock You ain't nothing but a car thief who must be stopped
What Comes Around Known samples: Guitar sample from "It's Hot Tonight" - Alice Cooper (1977). Opening drum beat: "Moby Dick" - Led Zeppelin (1969). Primary sample: "Put On Train" - Gene Harris (1962).
Soft overripe fresh skeezed California females With 3-inch cherry red press-on Lee nails "Lee" press-on finger nails are arguably the most famous of these beauty products. Reach into my mind for the rhymes I'm seeking Like a garbage bag full overflowing now it's leaking Rapunzel Rapunzel let down your hair Rapunzel of medieval myth, supposedly let her incredibly long hair down so that her rescuer could climb the tower where she was imprisoned. So I can climb up and get into your underwear Rat soup eating test cheating no business punk You're insecure born in the junkyard with the junk Paraphrased line from the film Dolemite by D'Urville Martin (1975). Actual quote is "you insecure born junkyard motherfucker". You've gone wet look crazy and messed with your head You fucked around and wound up with the bald skin head You're all mixed up like pasta primavera Why'd you throw that chair at Geraldo Rivera On a taping of his daytime talk-show "Geraldo", Rivera's nose was broken when a chair was thrown at him by an angered neo-Nazi skinhead. Cause one man's ceiling is another man's floor "One Man's Ceiling Is Another Man's Floor" - Paul Simon (1973). So get that money out of your ass you whore I brought her upstairs onto the roof I dogged your wife and she is a doofus Clean B cleaning the G spot you know that we've got I'm not sure about the Clean B (I would presume a cleaning service) but the "G spot" I know ALL about! ;-) The G Spotis a mythical place inside a woman where sexual gratification can be heightened. After the move to California, the Beastie Boys nick-named their new space "the G Spot", named for the elderly couple they rented it from, the Grasshoffs. Dolemite's house and you have not Dolemite a film by D'Urville Martin (1975). Look out my window look over the city With two black eyes your girl ain't that pretty Why you wanna beat that brat with a bat "Beat on the Brat" - The Ramones (1976). Original lyrics: "Beat on the brat Beat on the brat Beat on the brat with a baseball bat, oh yeah, oh yeah oh oh" Why you wanna beat your girl like that Living in the rat race smoking rat weed You reap what you sow when you plant the seed While not an actual Bible quote "You reap what you sow" is often attributed to the Bible because this analogy is used often through its pages. For a few nice examples, try: Leviticus 25:11, Job 4:8, Psalms 126:5. Bum cheese on rye with ham and prosciutto Got more Louie than Phil Rizzuto Phil Rizzuto played professionally for the New York Yankees from 1941-1956 and later served as a New York Yankees color commentator.In the late 1980's he did national TV commercials for a lending agency called "The Money Store", whic is probably what this line refers to, "louie" being slang for money.
Shadrach At least one person has used "Shadrach" as a serious topic in academia, writing a paperabout post-modern texts. Props go to David Sklar for a fine paper, I hope yougot an A. You can read the paper yourself, here. Some of the rarerreferences I obtained from his paper, however, I did not agree with everything he suggested.
Known samples: Opening drums and clapping: "Do Your Dance" - Rose Royce. Additional samples: "Loose Booty" - Sly and the Family Stone (1974). "Hot and Nasty" - Black Oak Arkansas (1971). "Sugarhill Groove" - The Sugarhill Gang. "Funky Drummer" - James Brown.
Riddle me this brother can you handle it? Your style to my style you can't hold a candle to it Equinox symmetry and the balance is right Smokin' and drinkin' on a Tuesday night It's not how you play the game it's how you win it I cheat and steal and sin and I'm a cynic For those about to rock we salute you "For Those About to Rock We Salute You" - AC/DC (1981). David Sklar suggests that this is from the ancient Roman equivlanet of "gentleman start your engines" that began events in the Coliseum. Before the beginning of these brutal games "for those about to die we salute you" was uttered. I think it is more likely that they just got it off the AC/DC album/song, especially since the following line echoes another AC/DC song ("Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap"). The dirty thoughts for dirty minds we contribute to I once was lost but now I'm found "Amazing Grace" - John Newton (1779) Original lyric: "Amazing grace how sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me I once was lost but now I'm found Was blind but now I see" The music washes over and you're one with the sound Who shall inherit the earth the meek shall "Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth." King James Version Bible, Matthew 5:5. I think I'm starting to peak now Al In the liner notes of Paul's Boutique the printed lyrics state "I think I'm starting to peak now Al from S.S. Decontrol". Alan Barile was guiatrist for an early '80's Boston-based hard-core band called S.S. Decontrol. And the man upstairs I hope that he cares If I had a penny for my thoughts I'd be a millionaire A mixture of two popular cliches. "Penny for your thoughts" and "If I had a penny for every time (whatever) I'd be a millionaire". We're just 3 M.C.'s and we're on the go Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego appear in the 3rd chapter of "Daniel" in the Bible. Refusing to worship a golden idol, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego are thrown into a furnace by the king of Babylon, where they are unharmed for their unwavering faith in their god. As a result, the king declares the entire kingdom worship the Jewish god.
Only 24 hours in a day Only 12 notes a man can play The traditional music scale is comprised of 8 notes. David Sklar thinks they are making reference to Arnold Schoenberg's 12 note atonal scale. However, site visitor Gregory Luan has this to say: "When they say that there are twelve notes a man can play, they are most likely referring to the usual chromatic twelve note scale. The atonal scale is rarely used and I don't think the Beastie Boys would have enough interest in it to refer to it, especially during Paul's Boutique. Instead, I think it is more likely that they are referring to the total number of notes in the Western system. Namely: A A# B C D D# E F F# G G# A including the octave. Schoenberg's system incorporates the same 12 tones but in an atonal manner."
Music for all and not just one people And now we're gonna bust with the Putney Swope sequel Putney Swope a film by Robert Downey, Sr. (1969). More Adidas sneakers that a plumber got pliers Got more suits that Jacoby & Meyers Jacoby & Meyers is a an entertainment law firm, making an interesting double meaning forthe word "suits". If not for my vices and my bugged out desires My year would be good just like Goodyear's tires Goodyear Tire and Rubber Company. So I'm out pickin' pockets at the Atlantic Antic The Atlantic Antic is an annual street fair held in Brooklyn. And nobody wants to hear you cause your rhymes are so frantic I mix business with pleasure way too much I mean wine and women and song and such I don't get blue I gotta mean red streak You don't pay the band your friends and that's weak Get even like Steven like pulling a Rambo "Now we are even, quoth Steven" from "Letters to Stella" by Jonathan Swift (1711). John Rambo became the quintessential action hero, popularized by SylvesterStallone, starting with the film First Blood in 1982. Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego
Steal from the rich and I'm out robbing banks Give to the poor and I always give thanks Allusion to mythical figure Robin Hood, who stole from the rich and gave to the poor. Got more stories that J.D. got Salinger J.D. Salinger, American author, most notably, wrote Catcher in the Rye. He also had a collection of short stories titled Nine Stories. I hold the title and you are the challenger I've got money like Charles Dickens English author Charles Dickens. David Skarls points out that this "alludes to Dickens' lengthy writing style, a consequence of his contracts with magazines for which he wrote serialized stories - he was paid by the word. " Got the girlies in the Coupe like the Colonel's got the chickens The Cadillac Coupe de Ville. Colonel Sander's Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant chain. The word Coupe is played on the other meaning, as in chicken coop. Always go out dapper like Harry S. Truman Harry S. Truman served as the 33rd president of the United States from 1945-1953. I'm madder than Mad's Alfred E. Newman Humor magazine, Mad. They're mascot is Alfred E. Neuman, the red-haired, freckle-faced, "What, me worry?" kid. *Never gonna let 'em say that I don't love you* sample: "Never Let 'Em Say" - Ballin' Jack (1970). My noggin is hoggin all kinds of thoughts Adam Yoggin is Yauch and he's rockin of course Smoke the holy chalice got my own religion Rally round the stage and check the funky dope musicians Jerry Lee Swaggert or Jerry Lee Falwell Jimmy Swaggart and Jerry Falwell are both television evangelists. The "Jerry Lee" treatment of their names is probably referencing rock and roll icon Jerry Lee Lewis. Jimmy Swaggart and Jerry Lee Lewis are cousins. You love Mario Andretti cause he always drives his car well Famous Indy race car driver Vicious circle of reality since the day you were born And we love the hot butter on *say what?!* the popcorn sample: "Good to Go" - Trouble Funk. Sippin on wine and mackin Rockin on the stage with all the hands clappin Ride the wave of fate it don't ride me *Being very proud to be an M.C.* sample: "That's the Joint" by Funky 4+1 (1980). And the man upstairs I hope that he cares If I had a penny for my thoughts I'd be a millionaire Amps and crossovers under my rear hood The bass is bumpin from the back of my Fleetwood They tell us what to do? Hell no! Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego
beat sample at end just before segue into "Ask For Janice": "Lyrics of Fury" - Eric B and Rakim (1988).
Ask For Janice According to the Paul's Boutique Samples and References page: "The streetcorner in the picture [on the album cover] is Ludlow and Rivington and it's inManhattan, not Brooklyn. The Paul's Boutique sign is just hanging off of Lee's Sportswear." *...the best in men's clothing. Call Paul's Boutique and ask for Janice and the number is (718) 498-1043. That's Paul's Boutiue and they're in Brooklyn.*
B-boy Bouillabaisse
a. 59 Chrystie St. According to Mike D: "The money [from the British Airways suit] enabled us to make the move for independence. We got a floor in this Chinese sweatshop building on Chrystie Street." [source: Spin magazine]
Known samples: Drum beat: "The Jungle Line" - Joni Mitchell (1975). Additional samples: "Are you Experienced?" - Jimi Hendrix (1967). "Rocket in the Pocket" - Cerrone.
There's a girl over there *Aww yeah, aww aww aww aww, aww yeah* scratched sample: "Here We Go" - Run-DMC. With long brown hair *Aww aww yeah, aww aww aww aww, aww yeah* I took her to the place I threw the mattress in her face Took off her shirt *fr-fr-fr-fresh* scratched sample: "Change le Beat" - B-side and Fab 5 Freddy (1982). Took off her bra *you know it* sample: "Buffalo Gals" - Malcolm McLaren and World's Famous Supreme Team. Took off her pants *fr-fr-fr-fresh* You know that I saw *wa-wi-wi-wack* sample: "My Philosophy" - Boogie Down Productions (1988).
b. Get On the Mic Known samples: "At the Fever" - Lovebug Starski.
1,2... Right now I'd like to dedicate this song out to my main homie, Mike D Everybody ready? Go! Get on the mic, just get on the mic Get on the mic, get on the mic Mike Let's be real and don't cloud the issue The rhymes are rope an M.C. you must listen to People say that they been missin' me and missin' you Get on the mic and let's show them like we used to You say fuck that I say fuck this The king Ad-Whammy has never been limp Dick Butkus Dick Butkus was a linebacker for the Chicago Bears football team from 1965-1973. One half science and the other half soul His name's Mike D. not Fat Morton Jelly Roll Jelly Roll Morton was a jazz pianist of the 1920's. M.C. Busy Le Disco fooled around in Fresno Got over on your girl cause you know she never says no Well Mike D. is a special individual Pulling out knots pulling in residuals Go to the movies get the Rolos the cholos riding slow and low Rolos are a chocolate and caramel candy. Mike on the mic and bust with the solo Mike my stromy don't be so selfish Get on the mic cause you know you eat shellfish
c. Stop That Train Known samples: "Save the World" - All the People.
It's 4:00 a.m. I've got the Dr. Hfuhruhurr Ale A cheap ale sold in 40s and quarts, available in the NYC area, although I don't think this is the correct spelling. Most likely play on the ale's name and the name of Steve Martin's character in the 1983 film The Man With Two Brains. I've got nothing to lose so I'm pissin' on the third rail The third rail of the subway is what electrifies the car, so pissing on it would be, well, suicidal (nothing to lose). Groggy eyed and fried I'm headed for the station D-Train ride Coney Island vacation Coney Island is a famous New York amusement park in Brooklyn. Dedicated to the boofers in the back of the 1 train Boofing is a slang term for the act of hiding drugs in ones rectum. Thanks to reader JB for the tip. They'll be kicking out windows high on cocaine Jump the turnstyle I lost my last token Riding between the cars pissing smoking Head for the last car fluorescent light blackout Policeman told my homeboy put that crack out You know you light up when the lights go down Read the New York Post Fulton St. downtown The New York Post is a daily tabloid paper based in New York City. Same faces every day but you don't know their names Party people going placed on the D-Train
*Stop that train, I wanna get off* sample: "Draw Your Brakes" - Scotty.
French trench coat wing tip going to work Pulling a train like Captain Kirk Character made famous by William Shatner on the television series Star Trek. Pick pocket gangsters paying their debts Caught a bullet in the lung from Bernie Goetz Controversial vigilante who shot 4 youths in 1984 in a New York train station. Overworked and underpaid staring at the floor Prostitutes spandex caught in the sliding doors Stuck between the stations it seems like an eternity Sweating like sardines in a flophouse fraternity $50.00 fine for disturbing the peace The neck tortoise the Lees creased Lee's is a brand of blue jeans. Hot cup of coffee and the donuts are Dunkin Donut bakery chain Dunkin' Donuts. Friday night and Jamaica Queens funkin Jamaica, Queens is a neighborhood in Queens, New York. "Funkin' For Jamacia" - Tom Browne. Elevated platform never gonna conform Riding over the diner where I always get my toast warm Bust into the conductor's booth and busted out rhymes Over the loud speaker about the hard times "Hard Times" - Run-DMC (1984). Sat across from a man readin El Diario Common name for a lot of Spanish daily newspapers, so its exact reference is questionable, most likely a New York based paper when considered in context. Riding the train down from El Barrio Went from the station straight to Orange Julius Orange Julius is a chain of frozen orange juice stands owned by Dairy Queen. Bought a hot dog from my man George Drakoulias George Drakoulias is a record producer who got his start at Def Jam in the 1980's.
d. Year and a Day Known samples: "Ebony Jam" - Tower of Power. "Who's That Lady" - The Isley Brothers "When the Levee Breaks" - Led Zeppelin (1971).
M.C. for what I AM and do the A is for Adam and the lyrics; true so as pray and hope and the message is sent and I AM living in the dreams that I have dreamt because I'm down with the three the unstoppable three me and Adam and D. were born to M.C. and my body and soul and mind are pure not polluted or diluted or damaged beyond cure just lyrics from I to you recited arrested, bailed but cuffed and indicted enter the arena as I take center stage the lights set low and the night has come of age take the microphone in hand as that I am a professional speak my knowledge to the crowd and the ed. is special for I AM a bard but not the last one I'm my own king and this is my castle dwell in realms of now but vidi those of the past seen a glimpse from ahead and I don't think it's gonna last and you can bet your ass
I drop the L. when I'm skiing I'm smoking and peaking I put the skis on the roof almost every single weekend can't stop the mindfuck when it's rolling along can't stop the smooth runnin's when the shit's running strong broke my bindings the lion with wings preaching his word in the B. Boy sing I AM one with myself as I turn to The I prefer the dreams to reality I prefer my life don't need no other man's wife don't need no crazy lifestyle with stress and strife but it's good to have turn to be a king for a day or for a week or for a year or for a year in a day come what may
I'm fishing with my boat and I'm fishing for trout mix the Bass Ale with the Guiness Stout When you mix an ale with a stout, you get a black and tan. fishing for a line inside my brain and looking out at the world through my window pane every day has many colors cuz the glass is stained everything has changed but remains the same so once again the mirror raised and I see myself as clear as day and I AM going to the limits of my ultimate destiny feeling as though Somebody were testing me He who sees the end from the beginning of time looking forward through all the ages is, was and always shall be check the prophetic sections of the pages
He goes by the name of Disco Dave
e. Hello Brooklyn
New York New York it's a hell of a town The Bronx is up and I'm Brooklyn down The Bronx and Brooklyn are two of the boros that make up New York City. It's been brought to my attention by site visitor Mark that this also closely mirrors the lyrics from the song "New York, New York" in the 1944 musical On The Town: "New York, New York it's a hell of a town/The Bronx is up but the Battery is down". The lyric "hell of a" was changed to "wonderful" for the 1949 film version, starring Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra. They don't know my name they only know my initials Building bombs in the attic for elected officials I quit my job I cut my hair I cut my boss cause I don't care You tried to get slick you bust a little chuckle You're gonna get smacked with my gold finger knuckle Cause being as fly as me is something you never thought of You'll be sticking up old ladies with the hand gun or the sawed-off Like a buffalo soldier I'm broader than Broadway "Buffalo Soldier" - Bob Marley (post-humously, 1983). "Broader Than Broadway" - Barrington Levy. Keep keepin' on I don't care what they say I play my stereo loud it disturbs my neighbors I want to enjoy the fruits of my labor I am the holder of the 3-pack Bonanza If you open the book then you will get your hand slapped I am the keeper of the 3-pack Bonanza If you ask a question you will get the answer Her breast I saw I reached I felt M-O-N.E-Y the belt I stay at home just like a hermit I got the jammy but I don't got the permit Yes you got a boyfriend and his name is Nick Annabelle you're caught with the shrimpy limp dick Author Mary Jane Staples utilized the names Annabelle and Nick in her book Pride of Walworth however, the earliest publishing date I can find for this title is 1995, so it's not likely that this is the reference, however, it's the only one I can find. I ride around town cause my ride is fly I shot a man in Brooklyn *just to watch him die* sample: "Folsom Prison Blues" - Johnny Cash (1968).
f. Dropping Names Known samples: Piano and drums before "he thrusts": "Hey A-Pocky" - The Meters Music after "he thrusts": "The Well's Gone Dry" - The Crusaders Additional samples: "Into the Night" - Sweet. "Ebony Jam" - Tower of Power.
He thrusts his fists against the post and still insists he sees a ghost The above line is used by a character in Stephen King's book It as a tongue twister for overcoming a stuttering problem. The entire tongue twister (sorry, search as I may I could not find an author for it certainly sounds like a poem) has slight variations depending on what you reference, but in general it goes something like this: "Amidst the mists and coldest frosts, With stoutest wrists and loudest boasts, He thrusts his fists against the posts, And still insists he sees the ghosts" She's slippin through his fingers as she's movin' out to the coast
If your world was all black and if your world was all white Then you wouldn't get much color out of life now right Nicknamed Shamrock my name is not Shamus A shamrock is the common three-leaf clover. Shamus is a traditional Irish name. As far as pop culture is concerned, take your pick. There's the film Shamus starring Burt Reynolds in 1973. There's also the children's fantasy film from 1959 titled Shamus. Given the abundance of 1970's pop-culutre references, I would be inclined to lean toward the former. Girlies on the tippy cause my homie is famous My name is not O'Houigheighi nor is it Brian If I said that I was weak you know I'd be lyin' Suckers try to bite they try to pursue it *If you explain to a musician he'll tell that he knows it but he just can't do it* sample: an interview with Bob Marley.
g. Lay It On Me Known samples: Primary sample: "Let the Music Take Your Mind" - Kool and the Gang.
Chinese eyes and Chinese suits Smokin' much Buddha and smokin' much boots More updated on the hip-hop lingo My favorite New York Knick was Hawthorne Wingo Wingo played for the New York Knickerbockers and later the Harlem Wizards. Met a girl at a party and I gave her my card You know that it said Napoleon Bonaparte Napaleon Bonaparte rose to the status of Emperor of France in 1799. Peepin' out the colors I be buggin' on Cezanne Paul Cezanne (1839-1906) was a post-impressionist French painter. They call me Mike D Joe Blow the Lover Man Your face turns red as your glass of wine You spilled on my lyrics as you wasted my time Girl you should be with me you should drop that bum Cause I got more flavor than Fruit Striped Gum Flavorful, Beechnut brand chewing gum. With that big round butt of yours I'd like to butter your muffin I'm not bluffin' Serve you on a platter like Thanksgiving stuffin'
h. Mike On the Mic Known samples: Primary sample: "At the Fever" by Lovebug Starski. Here's a nother one for ya'll to peep It's called M-I-K-E on the M-I-C I met this girl last night with a peculiar cackle I laid the bait and then she took the tackle Had too much to drink at the Red Lobster Red Lobster seafood restaurant chain. Now the room is spinning around like the blades of a helicopter I never met a girl that was too finicky If the press has their way then they're going to finish me You might know this but you've never been this see If I ate spinach then I'd be called Spinach D I shed light like cats shed fur Ride around town like Raymond Burr Raymond Burr portrayed a wheelchair bound detective on the television series Ironside in the 1970's. I'm so high that they call me Your Highness If you don't know me then pardon my shyness I live in the Village wherever I go I walk to Greenwich Village, a notorious bohemian-artist neighborhood in NYC. Keepin' my friends around so I have someone to talk to I play my music loud because you know it's got clout to it *It's a trip it's got a funky beat and I can bug out to it* sample: spoken by Lloyd Lindsey.
i. A.W.O.L. Known samples: Primary sample: "Good Times" - Chic. Additional samples: "Good to Go" - Trouble Funk. "Loran Dance" - Idris Muhammad.
DJ Hurricane! Well, Mike D's in the house, what you gonna do I go A.W.O.L. Adrock's in the house, what you gonna do I go A.W.O.L. Well, MCA's in the house, what you gonna do I go A.W.O.L. Well, Hurricane's in the house, what you gonna do He goes A.W.O.L. St. James in the house, what's you gonna do Home 1, what you gonna do Got busy in the house, what you gonna do Dust Bros. in the house, what you gonna do Warren G. in the house, what you gonna do Lou Gains in the house, what you gonna do Hollis crew, what you gonna do John Mish in the house, what you gonna do Killa Cutty in the house, what you gonna do Jannet J. in the house Pat Bain's in the house Richard Consen's in the house... Good night Amsterdamn
*Now I want you all to break this down*
To all the girls, all the girls You liked it, some of it's...
